Margaret Cho – Queen Fag Hag
Margaret Cho is the undisputed Queen Fag Hag. This title is not one given lightly. It’s one earned through a life of being the constant companion to gay men, and an outspoken voice of the women who love them. In the 90s it was people like her who spoke out for gay rights, not with a tepid whisper, but with a loud shit talking bull horn. She boldly said the things other comics and artist were afraid to say. She is the very embodiment of living a life unapologetically out. This week Margaret Cho was in Austin, and I was invited to see her performance and meet with her after the show. She’s every bit as lovely in person, as I’d always imagined her to be watching her comedy programs on TV.
While Margaret has always been a star in my eyes, this has been a big year for her. She has a regular role on the show “Drop Dead Diva”, playing the character of Teri, the outspoken secretary for the lead character. She has recently released her first music CD, “Cho Dependent”. She has gone back on the road and is doing live comedy performances across the country. If all of that wasn’t enough, she was also recently added as one of the star contestants for Dancing with the Stars. She is partnered with the super hot, Louis van Amstel. As Margaret says in her performance, “We’re the all gay team.” You know with a duo like that, Bristol Palin doesn’t have a chance.
This years live stage performance of Margaret Cho, features the opening act of Kelly Liam Sullivan. The famed YouTube star who penned the simple yet catchy song, “Shoes”. Liam Sullivan is a self described Margaret Cho roady and constant companion. He even directed many of her music videos for her new music album.
As soon as Margaret took the stage, she instantly went into full on, in your face shit talking. Sometimes, quite literally. But that’s exactly the kind of humor that makes her so relatable. Because everyone knows you really aren’t friends with someone until you can talk openly about your bowel movements with them. Margaret just does it with a national audience. Some might not appreciate the candor, but when I watched her I really felt like I was listening to one of my fag hags. She could have been any one of them. She was speaking her truth, and didn’t give a “shit” about what anyone thought about it.
As gay men we live so much of our lives in the closet. Telling people what they want to hear. Holding back our true feelings. Failing to speak up and say the things that are at the tip of our tongues. Even failing to communicate and tell the people we love how we really feel about them. It’s an ingrain fear of rejection that holds us back. When Margaret says some of the crazy things she says, you can’t help but feel liberated yourself. Instead of preaching she teaches by example. If she can stand up on stage and literally talk about the most intimate details of her life, then it makes speaking our own truths a little less scary.
Margaret also has a very simple response to anyone who doesn’t like the things that she says, “FUCK YOU”. It’s simple and to the point, and frankly something that probably needs to be said more often to the people in our lives who would try to put us in our place.
Throughout her performance she integrates some of her new music into the show. One of the songs she performed, “I’m Sorry”, was inspired by true events in her life. Back in 1994, she had a show called All American Girl. She fell in love with one of the executives on the show, who didn’t reciprocate her affections. They never had a relationship, but to her, he was someone she always felt love for in her heart. A few years ago she was thinking of this guy, and decided to google him to see how he was doing. Turns out this guy had been married and was now in jail for murdering his wife. The song is a comedic take on obsessive love. Both the song and her real life story speaks to how even though the loves in our life didn’t work out, eventually we find it was probably for the best, and it certainly could have ended much worse.
By the end of her show, she ended with another one of her songs and had the entire Austin Gay Mens Chorus as her back up singers. It was the perfect ending to a show which praised gay men, and Margaret’s special connection to them.
She’s so real, and so open, even though you are member of an audience you can’t help but feel you’ve walked away from a great evening with your best fag hag. This is why she deserves the title of Queen of the fag hags.
For more information on this article:
• Cho Dependent” 2010 Tour
• I’m Sorry Video from Cho Dependent
• Eat Shit & Die Video from Cho Dependent
